The final stage of the Smooth Away Conspiracy was put into place last night. Here are the details in case you want to recreate it:

1.) Get “lured” into buying Smooth Away©. “Buy 1 get 1 free, SUCH a great deal!” This is what you will tell your friends, and most importantly, your roommate.

https://www.getsmoothaway.com/index.asp

2.) Get made fun of for infomercial vulnerability.

3.) Make friends think you need to prove Smooth Away’s worth by giving the “free” Smooth Away to roommate.

4.) Induce/promote roommate’s love of Smooth Away.

5.) Mock roommate for becoming addicted to Smooth Away, repeatedly telling her she “has a problem” and that you are “planning an intervention.”

6.) Steal Smooth Away while roommate is gone and hide it.

7.) Act really believably innocent to roommate’s accusations.

8.) Try not to laugh as roommate thoroughly checks entire apartment for her beloved Smooth Away.

9.) Wait a week.

10.) Plant her Smooth Away close to where it was last seen.

11.) Act unbelievably innocent when roommate finds Smooth Away. The trick: you want her to believe that you felt so bad for her losing her Smooth Away, that you planted your own Smooth Away. She will thus think you are a “good friend” and stop thinking you took the Smooth Away to begin with. In return, she will give you back “your” Smooth Away (even though it’s actually hers. Yours is secretly hidden under your bed).

12.) Reveal elaborate plan to enormous applause.

(Sorry about that Shannon)